A SUPER COOL STory about Harry Potter
by TehKewlie11
Summary: harry equals lif!
1. A Rude Awakening

**Harry's Really Bad Day **

**Chapter One**

**A Rude Awakening**

One day Harry Potter had a really bad day. I'm sure that all of us have had bad days and one day Harry Potter had one too.

Let us begin with his slightly wonked- out dreams. _The Quidditch pitch had been dyed bright pink, Harry observed as he circled above the other players. Yipes!_ _The snitch was fast approaching with wings of gold. Wait, snitches do have wings of gold. Harry decided his career did not lie in poetry. While he thought, he suddenly realized that what was hurtling at him at such a speed was in fact not the snitch at all! It was a WALRUS! It landed on Harry's broom with a large thwump. "Yo Harry. I am your father." it growled. "Umm, NO!" said Harry. He was thoroughly weirded out- but then, he often is. "You are like totally not my father! My father was not a walrus." The walrus was crestfallen. "Well, can I at least be your Honorary Uncle?" he inquired. "Gee, I've always wanted an honorary uncle!" Harry exclaimed with glee. "Umm… hello? " for his broom was suddenly devoid of any form of walrus. Instead, there was a small stopwatch in his place. Harry grabbed it. "AAAAAH!" crash. Eeep! He had landed in the middle of the Indian Ocean. "Heeeeeelp!" _

He awoke with a large jump and hit his head on the top of his bed. "Growr." he mumbled. It was cheerily thunderstormy sort of Saturday at Hogwarts. Out of the mauve, Ron, his best friend (or so we think) threw a rat at him. Harry said "Holy guacamole Ron! Did you do that? I had THOUGHT that you were my friend! Rat- throwing is like SO not a part of the friendship package!". Well our pal Ron was a bit miffed. He replied, "Well, sorry friend but the simple truth is that I lost my grip on Scabbers (who is my rat) so it wasn't my fault but I really am sorry because you as my best friend certainly do not deserve to have rats thrown at you of all things!" So Harry said "OK, duh I forgive you but that was still a pretty lousy start to my day." Ron, who actually has a secret desire to become a nutrition professional cheerily tried to move on to happier things and said, "Well, maybe we should get some food. Breakfast is a pretty darn important meal, you know." And Harry thought that was a fabulous idea, so that is what they did. First, however, they went to find their other best friend Hermione. Then they went down to breakers as one happy threesome.

Harry and co. went trompily down the stairs to get some much desired food. While they were doing that you wouldn't beleive what happened! Harry tripped over his eternal pal Ron. He got a little bit mad at good ole Ron- again! I mean, what was up with him (Ron) anyway? So he screeched, "Gosh, Ron! _What_ is your problem anyway! I mean, come on! My day is like, totally sucky so far and it's kinda your fault. So then the heroic Ron replied angrily, "Harry, good grief! Stop blaming me for everything! I mean it's not like I did it on purpose you know." So Harry said "Aw, gee. Sorry Ron. I didn't mean it at all."

After this touching friendshippy moment, the three pals finally went to eat their nourishing breakfast, and Harry hoped nothing would happen to him during that time, for breakfast is a time meant strictly for serenity, not adventure! But perhaps you can guess that the longed- for Breakfast Bliss will not quite reach our daring trio! In the mean time, Hermione keenly observed, "This just goes to show you that our friendship is marvelously durable! It can withstand the test of time, rats, stairs, exploding pens, cheese, and even emus!" "Exploding pens? Cheese? _Emus_!" exclaimed the ever- lovable Harry and Ron. "Sometimes I just think that Hermy's far too smart for us!" said Ron, thus kindly lending us the closing words for this chapter.


	2. Voldy!

**Chapter 2**

**VOLDY!1!**

 Ok this chapter gets soooo exciting so enjoy it! Ps- thanx to the kewl people who reviewed!  p.p.s- harry p. doesn't belong to anyone except jk rowling! Not tehkewlie!

Well harry's mishaps continued throughout the day. When he and his amigos went down to breakfast (to eat it) HArry sat down on a piece of pumpkin pie! Yipes. ! Fred and George laughed cause they were the ones who put it there. Harry yelled: "It's _NOT_ FUNNY!" But they kept on laughing. And ron and hermine laughed also because it was funny and Harry Potter had whipped cream on his PANTS! Ha-ha! HA! They laughed uproariously. Harry said " Jeepers RON! _Why_ is it that _every_ time something bad happened today I've had to speak to you, my very best pal with the rat called Scabber about it cause I thought you were involved?" Well Ron got a bit huffy and he was like, "Gee ,harry what did you just say anyway? And I'm sorry for whatevs I did." So harry said, "O.K sorry for blaming you AGAIN but really Ron. I mean come on. But let's eat I'm pretty darn hungry!".

But then Hermione grabbed them both by the ear! She really wanted to know what she got on her Arithmancy exam and she needed moral support to go ask her professor for her grade. So she forced them out of the cafeteria and halfway across the building. They reached her classroom and Hermione was sooo nervous! Then her teacher said, "Umm Hermione you're really smart. You have received an A+ on this assignment!". So Hermione was ecstatic. But Ron and Harry were totally spazzing out because they had almighty pains in their stomachs from a lack of food. The wonky Trio speeded across Hogwarts to finally eat their darn brekkers!

They arrived in the place where everyone else was cheery and breakfasty. Then Ron and Hermione grabbed some food, and so did everyone else at the table, which was Gryffindor. Except for Harry! Alas, he was too slow! He hadn't played Quidditch in veritable _ages_, so his reflexes were _horrible_. Harry was sad, he felt left out of the breakfast joy that everyone else was having! Then he got mad- why couldn't he have food TOO! Ron felt bad for his friend who was really quite a pal, as we all know. So did everyone else. So they clubbed together and gave him some food! Harry laughed for sheer joy. hahaHA!

But Voldy was quicker! He had poisoned _everything_ on the table! Even the _plates_! Aaah! But Harry was EVEN _quicker_! He threw about 15,00 bezoars to absolutely everyone in the cafeteria! His reflexes had Magically improved since a couple secooondos ago. But Harry wasn't sure if everyone had caught the bezoars in their mouths! After all, he did throw a lot of them, and not many people have !Harry Pottre's Mad Quidditch Skillz! People could be choking right and left in the dining cafeteria!

Ooooh! Maaajor cliffy!

K ppl review pleeease!

luv, tehkewlie


	3. Pies n Snape

Well howdy reader!s!!!!!!!!! I missed u did you miss ME???????!!!lol! I know ur all dying to know what happens next sooo here u r!!!!!! Ok what happed last? Oh yeah. Ok. RECAP:

People could be chokeing right and left in the cafetria!

Ps- Harry P. and his pals are all Jk Rowlings not mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**CHAPTER 3: Pies + Snape**

But harry knew CPR so he saved them! Thank merlin he said really loud and so did every1 else they were happy about living. So was harry! He had defeated Volders!!!!! Yessss! Everyone was happy especially DUmdlebore cause NOW he's not dead and he never died yeahhh!!!! In your face Snapester!

Everyone threw pies and fish at snape. And serveos him right too!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even Dubbldobe threw 1 at snaep. But only one because Dumbledore's a realy a nice person.

Then the houseelfs came in to clean up the big MESS! Hermoine was MAD OH BOY WAS SHE MAD ABOUT THAT! SHE THINKS WIZARDS ARE MEAN TO HOUSEFLES AND HERE THEY ALL WERE MAKING THE ELFS CLEAN UP THEIR OWN STUPID MESS! "SHE YELLED. (a/n: OH SORry I forgot to take of capsolck!) Weeeell then she freed all the houselfes and yes they were very happy and they all decided to come work at Hogwatrs! So then Hermys' life mission was acomplished! And she kissed Ron and Harry kissed Ginny and everyone was snogging or whatever because they were ALIVE!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT!!!!!!

Then Snape came back from the Caribbean! AAAAAAH! Screamed everyone, because they were afraid of Snape, he's not so nice but he's probably really a nice guy anyway. And Snape used one of his specials spells on EVERYONE IN THE BIG HALL!!!!! The whole room was filled with emus! Except Won-won, but Snape didn't know that. Ron hid under a table, tense as a crayon. WHAT was he going to do? His pals and stuff were BIRDS!!!!!!!! And so was the food!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


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